A week ago today, Tuesday, November Eighteenth, our baby was called home to Heaven. Having a miscarriage has been one of the most difficult things I have ever been through in my life. I knew that it would be tough emotionally, but I had know idea how much physical pain there would be. It was the worst pain ever.
My doctor has no idea what caused the miscarriage and said she can't understand how it could have happened. I was fourteen weeks and one day. We had heard the heartbeat at ten weeks and had seen the baby's heartbeat and the baby moving on not one, but two ultrasounds. Both pregnancy books that I have say that the chances of having a miscarriage under these circumstances are around two percent.
I find comfort in the fact that what happened was in God's hands and part of His plan. I do not even pretend to understand His plan, but I trust in Him completely. I hope that His plan does include more little ones for Jason and me, but if not I will continue to be thankful that we have Dillon. That little boy is such a blessing and brings so much joy into my life.
3 comments:
Oh Rachel,
I am so very sorry for the huge loss that this is. It was your child and the loss is something that there are no words for.
I've been down that road myself- if you ever need someone to just talk to please know I am more than willing.
Hugs to you, your husband and Dillon.
Oh Rachel! I am so so so sorry to hear about your loss. I. cannot. imagine. Your whole life has been so upside down lately. I was worried when you hadn't posted in a while. :(
Know that I'll be praying for your heart to heal. I'm so glad that you are relying on God. I dont' know how non-believers do it without Him. Hang in there.
I am so sorry...
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